The Prankthology
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Disclaimer: High levels of Dominate, Obfuscate, Vissectitude, and Dementate
are highly suggested. 'Course, a good amount of Potence, Fortitude,
and Celerity never hurt anyone. Well, not us anyway...
Disclaimer the Second: If anyone takes any of this seriously, you are
weird. If you don't get help at Charter, get help somewhere. This
is all in fun, twisted as it may be.
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1. Cut off the hands of Koko the gorilla (the one that uses sign language).
2. Turn an entire hotel in Las Vegas into Elvis look-alikes. Give them all
an intense hatred of Elvis.
3. Go to a parachuting school. Replace parachutes with beach blankets.
4. Turn a good number of the Secret Service into clones of the President.
Convince them that they really are.
5. Nab a barber and replace him/her. Give unique haircuts. Use pruning
shears and a chainsaw.
6. Blow up the supports of the Eiffel Tower. (Really irritates the Toreador
and the French.)
7. Switch smoke grenades with real grenades at an Army Reserve drill session.
8. Sneak live ordnance into magazines before a MILES gear exercise.
9. Kill every lawyer who has an ad on TV. (Actually, this should go under
the heading of Public Service...)
10. Change headings of major newspaper to read "Prince ________ Molests
Bass!" (Thanks to v.a.l. for the inspiration on that one...)
11. Release and heavily arm inmates of a maximum security prison.
12. Stage a public hanging. Have the public trial five minutes later. Have
hangees make arguments in their defense. (Be sure to have live news
teams present...)
13. Massacre an entire radio station. Call police and announce on the air
that a certain song is never to be played again. Punish
transgressors. (The song was 'Basketcase'. It let out too many Clan
secrets...)
14. Crash a live-televised awards show. Have fun and act like a Brujah.
15. In New York, get a vendor stand. Sell hot dogs with fingers and
penises in them.
16. Go to a pet store and get several dozen large tarantulas. Find some poor
schlep on the street, and superglue the little critters to him. Drop
him off on a busy street corner and yell, "Look, it's Spiderman!".
17. At meetings, whenever any problem is brought up, any problem at all,
suggest holding a bake sale to cover the costs. Emphasize that oatmeal
raisin cookies will NOT be sold because nobody ever buys them and you
are always left with a styrofoam plate covered in Saran Wrap.
18. Call people by each others names. When they correct you, accuse them of
switching bodies. Force them to show you PROOF that they are who they
say they are.
19. When someone asks who you are, check your ID. You never know.
20. When you're Obfuscated, you can't see anyone. They can't see you, and
that's logic. ("Contrariwise.")
21. Speak a language you don't know. English is a twist on this.
22. Rap.
23. Disco.
24. Invite everyone to the S00PER D00PER MONSTER TRUCK RALLY at the Prince's
house. Hang around outside and yell for beer.
25. Rip off lines from Firesign Theatre and Negativland. "Oh, you mean
NANCY!", "ToNIGHT is THRILL NIGHT!", "guns.", "Passs the Lord and
Praise the Ammunition!", "Read me Doctor Memory.", "And we had to throw
it awaaaaay.", "Available in three sizes: Little Miss, Moon Maid and
Stuck Pig.", "We shust don't have enough dada."
26. Bite the inside of your cheek and yell "OW! Hey, my teeth are really
sharp! How did that happen? Tastes pretty good though... Hey wait a
minute! That's BLOOD! Gross!"
27. Fall. Don't get up.
28. Bob for french fries. Have another Malkavian lick the salt and grease
off your face.
29. Jump back. Kiss yourself.
30. Suck your own blood. Ask the GM if this counts as Diablerie.
31. Ask people how they can stand it. When they ask what, look around and
throw up your hands as if it were OBVIOUS, as if it were ALL AROUND
THEM.
32. Find a Toreador and engage in conversation. Tell him that Shakespeare
really wrote three other plays, but that you persuaded 'ole Willy that
they weren't any good and got him to burn them.
33. Become a renegade appliance repair specialist (ala DeNiro's character in
"Brazil"). Break into people's houses and repair their machinery. Be
creative. Use an Etherite's design specs for the Perpetual Motion
Quantum Ice Cream Scoop (r) for inspiration.
34. Paint your face green and wear one of those silly pairs of antennae.
Take a pistol and glue on little bits of junk. Wander the streets and
accost random people, asking them to "Take me to your leader". If they
refuse, "zap" 'em. Repeat as necessary until you are taken to "their
Leader" (interpret however you wish). Smile and thank Mr. Leader for
beaming out reruns of "I Love Lucy" for the cosmos' enjoyment. Get
their autograph and promptly disappear (Obfuscate).
35. Dress up like a roadrunner. Run up to a passerby, hand him a lit stick
of dynamite, yell "Meep! Meep!", and run off as fast as you can.
36. Hijack an airliner. Head back to the big city. Think skyscrapers.
Think Star Wars Death Star trench battle scene. Don't forget to close
your eyes and let the Force guide your hand.
37. Practice your ventriloquism. Use Obfuscate to disappear. Go to a
popular and fancy restaurant. (Bonus points if the restaurant is part
of the Elysium and/or a Primogen member's favored hangout.) Find people
who have ordered their steaks medium-rare. Give a unique performance
of "Old MacDonald".
38. Get one tied-up Nosferatu. Put a mask on 'em. Go to a showing of
Phantom of the Opera. Unmask him on stage and shoot him repeatedly when
he tries to run. Watch for reactions when he gets back up and runs away
again. (You might have to shoot an actor to convince the audience that
the bullets are real.)
39. Replace doctors in an ER. Try real hard to do well. Tie up real doctors
and let 'em watch. Ignore screams. Arriving cops become candidates for
gall bladder removal. (Loone, are you sure the gall bladder is in the
head?)
40. Kill every 'Smith' in a large town. (This may take some doing, so only
hard-working Malkies should try this one.)
41. Go muddin' in the Prince's limo. Tying his favorite ghoul to the hood is
strictly optional.
42. Turn Prince into look-alike of Charles Manson. Run like hell.
43. Take a sledgehammer into a house of mirrors. Don't come out for a few
hours. And don't come out through any doors or windows.
44. Go to an opera. Show 'em what real Vikings were like.
45. Replace all the children in a maternity ward with chickens. Hoist all
the kids from various flagpoles across the city.
46. Put out ad for cheap liposuction. Punish stupidity with a knife and a
vacuum cleaner. Volunteer the mayor if there are no takers.
47. Enter a demolition derby. Heavily arm Obfuscated boarding parties.
48. Commandeer multiple cement trucks. Visit the Prince's domicile. Leave
town soon thereafter.
49. (Highly difficult. Only for the most experienced sadists.) Get an
18-wheeler with a trailer. Capture and kill Shamu. Deliver to
Greenpeace's headquarters with a big bow around him.
50. Rob the same bank every night. Start taking furniture when they run out
of money. Start taking employees when they run out of furniture. Bonus
points to the longest spree.
51. Track down and kill the Brady Bunch just for fun.
52. Set a firehouse on fire. Do it again half an hour after they put it out.
All night.
53. Paint big yellow smiley faces all over every billboard in town. Have
ghoul snipers kill anyone who tries to paint over them.
54. Replace a boxer in a major fight. Show the world what Potence can really
do properly employed.
55. Kill every talkshow host you can during the filming of their show. Take
over the conversation. See how many hosts go into hiding.
56. Teach ticket scalpers the true meaning of scalping. Give tickets (glued
to scalp) to the poor.
57. Have a good 'ole fashioned book burning at the local government archives
building. (Not for squeamish vampires...)
58. Help scientists explore the mysteries of cryogenics. Improvise with meat
lockers and pedestrians if proper facilities are not available.
59. Sneak onto an airplane (preferably cross-continental) and steal all the
toilet paper. Leave sandpaper. Stay and see how many use it in
desperation. (Putting exlax in the food is highly suggested.)
60. Get several large sewer rats (not Nosferatu, just plain rats) and some
sturdy metal containers to store them in for awhile. Turn the rats into
ghouls and starve them for awhile. Then release them in a geriatric
ward, day-care center ( night-care, whatever...) maternity ward, or
nursing home.
61. Find some contaminated blood and place it in the local blood bank.
62. Fill a baptismal font with hydrochloric acid.
63. Place bombs on school buses.
64. Take corpses and run them through a meat grinder. Form the results into
small, wafer thin patties and smuggle into the local fast-food chains
freezers. Telling the board of health is strictly optional.
65. Hydrochloric acid in certain hygiene products.
66. Tape adult material over Bambi. Return to video store.
67. Fly a kite using entrails/intestines as string or the tail.
68. Take surveillance video of a school principal nude and splice it into the
class TV.
69. Get a list of abused wives and castrate their husbands.
70. Find a personals section in a newspaper. Kill every person in it.
71. Alter a local billboard to say something really exciting (ex-Prince
_______ has sex with farm animals).
72. Videotape nuns showering. Give away copies free.
73. Make snow angels. Put dead children in the center.
74. Find a nativity scene. Replace the Christ child with a dead baby.
75. Steal a wrecking ball. Level a crowded tenement.
76. Give blankets impregnated with small pox to homeless people.
77. Replace several electronic toys innards with plastique.
78. Arm a psychiatric ward's inmates.
79. Put obstructions in the path of crowded subway cars.
80. Place land mines on jogging trails.
81. Run a van full of boy scouts through a car compactor.
82. Replace the ether found in a dentists office with any nerve gas causing
paralysis but not unconsciousness.
83. Assassinate a writer of children's books by bludgeoning them to death
with a small child.
84. Arrange corpses to read Spring is Here and then bury them under a large
pile of snow. Hope its still legible for the spring thaw.
85. Place a corpse in the middle of a snowman. Again, wait for a thaw.
86. Cut the hydraulic lines on the brakes of as many airplanes as possible.
87. Go to an AA meeting and pelt people with cans of beer (Note: some STs
allow aggravated damage if Heineken is used.)
88. Brand people at random with the prince's seal.
89. Steal several suits of armor and weld people into them. Make a wind
chime.
90. Put angel dust into the communion.
91. Bake frog heads into communion cookies and replace the real ones.
92. Put sulfuric acid into the ink at a tattoo parlor.
93. Bolt the doors of any crowded area shut. Light some smoke bombs and
yell "Fire!".
94. Replace the blood in plasma bags with red acrylic paint.
95. Replace the solution in an IV bag with salt solution.
96. Weaken bungee cords.
97. Replace nitroglycerin tablets with caffeine pills.
98. Reroute the exhaust to the rear compartment on an ambulance.
99. Cut off a surgeon's hands, a psychiatrist's tongue, a gigolo's...you get
the idea.
100. Arrange dead people dressed as a cowboy, an Indian, a construction
worker, and a leather clad weirdo to spell "YMCA".
101. Arrange dead girl scouts to spell "kind, helpful, courteous, and
dead."
102. Add ground glass to the road salt.
103. Replace a psychiatric wards thorazine with LSD.
104. Put ammonia into the prince's fish tanks and lethal dosages into his
swimming pool.
105. Let lions loose in a nursing home.
106. Release hungry pythons in an orphanage.
107. Steal the displays from a local museum. Send ransom demands.
108. Make chains similar to paper doll chains, but use sorority girls and
barbed wire instead.
109. Connect portable generators to a building's fire escapes. Barricade the
stairs and light the building on fire.
110. Throw bleach on Goths.
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Hier heb je de verdere delen van de The Prankthology
http://malkav.freeshell.org/fun/prank/
wow dude 
