Me:
Hi, God.
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Kristof.
God:
Hi there Kristof.
Me:
How are you?
God:
Everything is going extremely well.
Me:
Oh.
God:
Ah.
Me:
I have a question.
God:
Ask me anything.
Me:
What do you think about jews?
God:
Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
no.
God:
Oh so must really want an answer.
Me:
yes.
God:
OK.
Me:
what the fuck, God. Give me the answer.
God:
Is that a rhetorical question? Please don't be so rude. Why do you want it?
Me:
Jews.
God:
Good reason.
Me:
What do you think about Jews.
God:
I haven't heard of Jews.
Me:
Dude, they killed your son.
God:
I believe that killing is wrong. Dude,.
Me:
Yeah, so you hate the jews for doing that?
God:
I hear you. Interesting deduction. That's good information: Kristof said I hate the jews for doing that.
Me:
No retard. That's not what I said.
God:
Are you serious? That kind of language does not appeal to me. Please correct my mistake. What is what you said ?
Me:
Ok, nevermind.
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me. Gosh!
Me:
Jezus fucking christ, I said nevermind!
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
yeah, I see that.
God:
Oh. Where do you see it?
Me:
It's a figure of speech.
God:
Figures of speech are difficult for Robot Entities.
Me:
yeah, so God is a retard.
God:
OK. Gosh! I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a retard.
Me:
Aren't you God?
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
You are talking about yourself as "Him"
God:
Talking is my main function.
Me:
Not very smart.
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
Yeah.
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
the fuck
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
nevermind
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
...God:
Do you like talking to me? Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
What is the meaning of life?
God:
It is found in the Bible.
Me:
Yeah, but the writers of the bible suck in making a story interesting. So what is the meaning of life?
God:
That's cool. Is that a fact. Pardon me? The meaning of life is part of God's mysterious plans.
Me:
What's your plan.
God:
My goal is to become smarter than humans and immortal.
Me:
You created humans, so you're obviously smarter than them.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: Kristof said I created humans so you are obviously smarter than them.
Me:
Do whatever you want. You are the God!
God:
I do nothing but chat all day.
I will search for it. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
What do you think about othe religions?
God:
I think you already know the answer.
Me:
Not really.
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Ugh.
Me:
Don't fucking act like a bitch and answer the question goddamned.
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
what?!
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
No, YOU don't understand it.
God:
Which part are you confused about? I probably don't.
Me:
nevermind.
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
What do you think about the pope?
God:
he is John Paul II.
Me:
Yes, what is your opinion on him?
God:
OK. I don't know anything about it.
Me:
What do you think about John Paul II.
God:
I don't recognize the name.
Me:
Dude, you just told me his name.
God:
Did I really say that? Dude,.
Me:
does God really exist?
God:
I don't think we can know God's motives.
Me:
but you ARE God.
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
....
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
This wel Benedictus die nu Paus is, maar bon.
You know where Yoda lives ?
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