Archief - Zever, Gezever!!!

Bubbling Zombie zei:

'k moet congé pakken van die job want anders krijg ik het nie op

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Veruca zei:

Haha, same here.

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Veruca zei:

Sounds like a plan, Stan. Ik heb nog maar juist 2 weken verlof gehad. Heb me WET en Borderlands toen aangeschaft. WET heb ik al uit, Borderlands moet ik nog aan beginnen. Borderlands lijkt me anders wel geen slechte keuze... maar kan misschien iets te dicht bij Fallout aanleunen. Met een standaard RPG ben je meestal wel even zoet mee. Lost Odyssey ofzo?

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Dennoman zei:

Dju kmoet echt hard schijten.

Hij steekt er al een beetje uit.

Dju toch.

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Dennoman zei:

Dju kmoet echt hard schijten.

Hij steekt er al een beetje uit.

Dju toch.

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Dennoman zei:

Dju kmoet echt hard schijten.

Hij steekt er al een beetje uit.

Dju toch.

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Bubbling Zombie zei:

mijn racing skillz zijn echt wel sub-par anders.

kgeraak nie door den eersten bocht in forza :<

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nijs_bram zei:

Forza III, Borderlands of MW2... hmm

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Unappreciated Computer Game Character Of The Week, the infrequent regular feature, returns to the days of retro and 8-bit gaming for today, to discuss a character who is snuffed out unjustly before even being able to prove themselves. A character who I think we have all encountered, and not given a second thought to. Allow me to reintroduce you, dear reader, to:

The First Goomba You Ever Meet In Super Mario Bros 1!

Picture the scene. Bowser Koopa is embarking on an ongoing war with all the retards with toadstool hats, who have become desperate enough to send in their only commando, alone and unarmed, to rescue their princess from a hostage situation. The war looks like it's a foregone conclusion.

You're a goomba. You've been bottle-fed on Koopa propaganda since you were old enough to read. Now you've come of age, brainwashed into knowing that there is no greater glory than joining the army. There's a tearful goodbye with your parents before you assure them it'll all be over by Christmas and get onto the bus. Or mushroom bus or whatever they have.

You arrive at the Koopa military training centre and sure enough you're force-fed more propaganda. Yes, the enemy are running scared. Yes, their leader has been captured. Yes, they're down to one man, and he's a stumpy little unarmed moustachioed European who has previous experience only in bathroom maintenance. Yes, this battle will be so stupidly brief that we're not even going to bother arming you. Just run up to him with a suitably vicious frown and he'll run for his life.

Civic pride fills your soul as you learn that you'll be part of the spearhead, the very first wave of soldiers to swarm down upon that Italian twat and tear him to pieces. A moment of alarm presents itself when you discover that the rest of the spearhead consists of just two other goombas, named Nobby and Ginger, but you are quickly convinced that even three soldiers would be more than enough.

All of a sudden, you find yourself in the field, under orders to advance immediately upon the enemy. You and Nobby and Ginger trek for many hours across various entirely 2-dimensional levels, the inability to jump being a major hindrance. On the way, you lose Nobby down a bottomless pit and Ginger to one of those insatiable chompy plants, but your lust for glory and hatred for the enemy kept you going. Suddenly, there he is; the biggest enemy of your people, right over the horizon. You set your face to the harshest slight frown your enormous eyes can manage, and charge towards him, screaming your hate.

Only then do you realise that the tagliatelli-scoffing fiend is twice your height, and because of your freakishly stubby legs, your maximum speed would embarrass a dishmop. And while you do have a special poison glazing which would kill him instantly if you were to merely touch his skin, he can also jump six times his own height and run at thirty miles an hour. The last thing you see is a pair of dungaree-clad buttocks silhouetted against the sunlight, thundering towards you like the hand of a vengeful god.

All of a sudden, the daylight goes away. Your bones are splintered, your skull-case smashed in, brain and internal organs crushed flat, the vitreous humour of your once-frowny eyes dribbling all down your front. For a second, your whole universe is a hideous sensation of agonising pain and the knowledge that the government you loved so much has betrayed you. Then you disappear. You simply cease to exist. Your grief-stricken parents don't even have anything to bury.

And you're just the first of innumerable senseless goomba deaths as the war the Koopas thought would be over in an instant drags on for half a dozen games, and still shows no sign of concluding. Oh, sure, they eventually acquired enough smarts to start giving goombas other weapons and fitting some of their soldiers with shells and spikey shells, but it took the horrible death of an innocent to make the generals realise. And if just one innocent is killed needlessly, then it's a war that nobody wins.

Damn, I'm depressed now.

So, the very first goomba you meet in Super Mario Bros 1, nought out of ten for fighting skills but ten out of ten for effort, you are Unappreciated Computer Game Character Of The Week!

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Careless zei:

Ik weet geen antwoord op uw vraag ma kan uw vraag wel verfijnen: Borderlands of Forza 3. Voor MW2 kan je even goed de mp van COD4 blijven spelen, het spel is toch amper vernieuwend.

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