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» the good loser phenomenon


"So I lost three times in a row. I grabbed a chair and threw it through the window, when suddenly a little girl came to me and said: 'You are a very bad loser, sir!' I smiled and said: 'Thank you!'"


Sometimes, when I have nothing better to do, I just sit in my chair and think. Yes this might sound funny, but it is actually true. So I sit in my chair and think about stuff. I think, why it is, that some things in this world just piss me off. Like when my neighbors take their commercials and put them in my letter box. You might say, that this isn't a really big deal, if you compare it to the children in Africa, that are starving because they have nothing to eat. And while this makes sense, it still pisses me off. I get those fantasies, how I stay up the night and watch my letter box. I just sit there and wait for the guy who messes with my mail space. And when he comes, I suddenly jump out of the dark and yell something, like... "HAHA NOW I KNOW!" or "YOU ARE GOING DOWN MAILMAN!"

Ok, let's not get carried away... The point is though, that sometimes I think it's not the others who are doing something wrong, it's me. Perhaps this one guy really thinks, I might need a new chromed out tool kit, or 200 pounds of fresh meat!
Perhaps that is the only reason, why he is putting those tiny catalogues in my letter box, instead of throwing them away! Do I know? No! I can only guess. And because I am a bad person, I think the others are too. Would I mind to think what my neighbors "might" need? No way! Screw them! It takes me two minutes to bring the commercial prospects in the garbage can, but if I put them in the slot of Mr. and Mrs. Kowalski, it takes me only two seconds. Way to go!
But this guy might actually be a good person. I shouldn't blame him for me being an asshole.

Now it gets kinda tricky. So that neighbor is actualy not an asshole, but a nice fella who thinks he is doing something good, ok.
The real problem are people, that do something that offends me, but they don't even know it. Like people who eat while you talk to them on the phone.
It's not like those people think: "You know what? I really gonna piss him off! Watch how I eat while he is talking! Haha, that sucker, now I'm chewing extra loud!"
It's not like they are doing it intentionally. But they still are doing it. A reasearch from some university somewhere in great britain says, that 90 Percent of the people that eat while talking on the phone are actually hungry. I honestly belive that. Still, I freak out...
There are only a few things in life, that I hate more, than hearing chewing and crunching over the phone. Good losers for example. Or let's say, the "rumor" about good losers.

Can please someone explain to me, what a good loser is? It must be some kind of phenomenon, because I haven't met one yet. Since people keep refering to me as a "bad loser", I assume there has to be something like a "good loser".

I thought a while about that matter and came up with my own solution: A good loser is an asshole. Literally, a good loser is an asshole, because he seems to have no problem with shit! You lost a game, and are fine with it? Well, you suck! Being fine after losing is bullshit.
If I play a game, and it doesn't matter if it's a computer game, Monopoly or the commercial game in the movie theatres, I WANT TO FUCKING WIN! And you know why? BECAUSE LOSING SUCKS!
Stop telling me I am a bad loser. What is wrong with you people? I mean, I lost the fucking game, and now I lost in "losing" too? Now I suck in Monopoly and in losing? Oh come on... There has got to be something, that I'm actually good in? Don't take losing from me. If I am a bad loser, who is a good loser? I lost so much, it's not even possible that I suck in that discipline.

There is no such thing as a "good loser". How do you treat a good loser? What are you going to tell him? "Well, you suck in the game my son, but it's great to see, that you are ok with it" or "It so nice that you are fine with not getting it done right!"

It's great when people have no problem with losing... NO IT'S NOT! IT BLOWS!

You know, what I hate even more than losing? People who don't care whether they win or lose! They are ruining the game! If you ask me, there should be rules, that forbid "to be fine with losing." Too bad you can't disqualify someone who just lost...
People who don't give a damn about the outcome, kill the atmosphere of a game. It's like you play chess against someone and he offers you to make two turns in a row: "Go on, make one more, you are on fire anyway..."
People need to understand, that losing is not an option. You don't say "fine by me" because if you do, the game was nothing worth.
Look at all the professional sports. Take John McEnroe for instance. He was a great player and he hated it when he lost. That guy loved the game. He lived the game. Of course we can all be happy, that Mr. McEnroe was into Tennis and not IceHockey... or Lumberjacks...

But again, he had sportsmanship. Being a good loser has nothing to do with good sportsmanship, it has to do with ignorance and lack of interest.
Don't you missunderstand me. I am not saying being an asshole after losing is sportsmanship. You always have to show respect to the people you play with. Credit where credit is due.
If I am losing, I am not angry with my opponent, but with myself. But if people don't care whether they win or they lose, they miss the point of competition. And games are about competition. Games are about someone getting owned by another one. The one who wins should be happy. That's why he get's all the money and chicks. The loser get's nothing, and therefore he is supposed to be going wild. At least be sad. Better yet start crying! The winner takes it all. If swedish pop groups with ugly clothes know that, than it has to be right. It's hard, but thats the way it is. You shouldn't be happy after losing. IT IS AGAINST THE RULES.

And stop telling me about fun. I play for fun too, but I still want to win. You wanna know why?
Because winning is much more fun than losing! Try it, and you will see.

You only have no problem with losing, when you know, that you don't stand a chance. But that dosen't make you a "good loser", it just makes you a player with lower expectations.

Imagine yourself playing Monopoly. You somehow managed to own the damn board. Touch the dice and pay. There is no escaping this. The only place where you will lose more fake money, is on online betting.
Now imagine you bought everything, you built your empire. Suddenly one player comes across your 'park place', where you have planted a nice hotel. This player has to pay big moneh! He now is broke as hell. Payday bitch! But then you see this guy is not freaking out. He hands you the money with a smile and says with a nice voice "hey, no more nachos, I'll go to the kitchen and get us some new..." (Lalala! I love flowers! Lalala look, the sun is shining...)

So there are people, that have no problem with losing. In fact, it doesn't even bother them, whether they win or lose. Now is it my fault, if I get pissed off by those people? Of course it is. Just because they have a good time while getting fragged ten times in one minute, it shouldn't be a problem for me! I agree.

But as long as I am sitting here, in my chair, thinking about this little fucker who messes with my letter box, as long as I am here and not in Africa helping starving children, I will scream, and cry, and shatter things and hate the game, after losing...


"I wouldn’t give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed"

- General George S. Patton Jr.


© Etienne Gardé am 18.11.2003

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