Chandler: Paraboem ....tsjh
Joey: Here it is, buddy boy. You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own.
Chandler: Oh, my God, that is so not the opposite of taking someone's underwear.
Joey: Look at me, I'm Chandler, could I *be* wearing any more clothes?
Ross: Every week a TV Guide is delivered to Joey and Chandler. What is the name on the magazine?
Rachel: Oh it's Chandler Bing. Him. Right there.
Monica: No.
Ross: Actually the correct answer is "Chanandler Bong"
Chandler: Ms. Chanandler Bong.
Ross: What is the name of Chandler's father's all male burlesque review?
Monica: Viva Las Gay-gas.
Chandler: Unfortunately, that would be correct.
Monica: [Rachel and Amy get into a cat fight at Thanksgiving] My God! Somebody do something! Stop them!
Joey: What? Stop them? Throw some jello on them!
Joey: [during Ross's speech, Joey laughs every time he hears 'homo erectus'] Ha, Ha, he said 'erectus'.
[notices Rachel is also laughing]
Joey: Erectus?
Rachel: [stifling laugh] No, 'homo'.
Joey: Ross, if homo sapiens actually were *homo* sapiens, is that why they're exctinct?
Ross: Joey, they are people.
Joey: Hey, I'm not judging.
Ross: You know what? I'd better pass on the game. I'm just gonna go home and think about my ex-wife and her lesbian lover.
Joey: The hell with hockey. Let's all do that.
Chandler: From now on, I have no first name.
Joey: So - you're just Bing?
Chandler: I have no name.
Phoebe: All right, so what are we supposed to call you?
Chandler: Okay, for now, temporarily, you can call me... Clint.
Joey: No way are you cool enough to pull off Clint.
Chandler: Okay, so what name am I cool enough to pull off?
Phoebe: Um... Gene.
Chandler: It's Clint. It's Clint.
Joey: See ya later, Gene.
Phoebe: Bye, Gene.
Chandler: It's Clint. Clint.
Joey: What's up with Gene?
Joey: All right they got water, orange juice, and what looks like cider.
[takes a glass from the fridge]
Chandler: Taste it.
Joey: [drinks from the glass and puts it back in the fridge] Yep, it's fat. I drank fat.
Chandler: Yeah, I know, I did that two minutes ago.
Joey: [drinking a beer on the boat] Look at this clown. Just because he's got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river.
[yelling]
Joey: Get out of the way jackass.
[to Rachel]
Joey: Who names his boat Coast Guard anyway?
Rachel: That is the Coast Guard.
Joey: You're mean on the boat.
Rachel: What? I was just trying to teach you.
Joey: Well, lesson learned. Rachel is mean.
Ross: Yeeeeeep... Yep-yep-yep-yep-yep. I remember when she took me out on her dad's boat she wouldn't let me help at all.
Rachel: Excuse me, I wanted you to help, but you couldn't move your arms because you were wearing three life jackets.
Ross: You have to respect the sea.
Joey: I don't get it. Why can't we use the same toothbrush? We use the same soap.
Chandler: That's different. The toothbrush has been in my mouth.
Joey: OK. But next time you're in the shower, think of the first place you're washing, and the last place I washed.
Chandler: Yo, paisan. Can I talk to you for a sec? Your tailor is a very bad man.
Joey: Frankie? What are you talking about?
Ross: Hey, what's going on?
Chandler: Joey's tailor... took advantage of me.
Ross: What?
Joey: No way. I've been going to that guy for 12 years.
Chandler: Oh, come on. He said he was going to do my inseam, and then he ran his hand up my leg. And then, there was definite... cupping.
Joey: That's how they do pants. First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear.
[Chandler and Ross stare at him]
Joey: What? Ross, Ross, would you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?
Ross: Yes. Yes, it is... In prison
Joey: I just don't think that I want it that way though, you know? I mean, let's say I do make it, all right? I'm always gonna look back and wonder if it was because of my talent or because of... y'know, the Little General.
Chandler: Didn't you use to call it the Little Major?
Joey: Yeah, but after Denise DeMarco, I had to promote it.
Chandler: [about Richard] Oh hey listen, don't be mad at him, it's our fault. I'm sorry we've been hoggin so much of his time.
Joey: Yeah, he's just really great to hang around with.
Richard: Well...
Joey: No, I'm serious. Chandler and I were just talkin' about this. He is so much cooler than our dads.
[Chandler kicks, out of sight]
Joey: I mean, you know, our dads are okay, you know? But Richard is just- ow, ow.
[to Chandler]
Joey: What are you kickin' me for, huh? I'm tryin' to talk here.
Joey: [sees Rachel and Chandler eating cheesecake off the floor] All right, what are we having?
[takes out a fork and starts to eat with them]
Ross
